Just a simple question

What makes you happy ?

🙂

Well, for me…

My Husband.

Loving and being loved.

Being in love.

All of my loved ones’ happiness.

Making my parents proud.

Seeing my Grandma’s smile.

Waking up in the morning and having my first coffee.

A peaceful village.

A sunny day.

A rainbow.

Spring.

Growing flowers.

Snowing heavily.

Making a snow-man.

Eating yummy cakes, especially fruity cheesecakes.

Icecream.

Singing and dancing in the kitchen.

Leaving loving messages to my husband on little piece of papers.

Showing my love.

Opening a personal email.

Sleeping with my cat.

Hugging a huge gentle dog.

Having a little sleep in the afternoon in the garden.

Reading moving books.

Crying or laughing like a crazy at a great movie.

Listening to my favourite songs and discovering new ones.

Recognizing myself in lyrics.

Posting surprises.

Lighting a candle and touching and watching the flame.

Shopping ingredients for our tasty dinner.

Having a busy and successful day.

Watching the sunrise or the sunset.

A long hot balmy bath.

Lying in the middle of a flowery medow.

Watching the moving clouds on the sky.

Sewing while my husband’s watching football on TV.

Watching people in the street.

Sitting in a big wise tree’s shadow.

Being emotional.

Being honest.

Painting our walls to happy colours.

Framing pictures.

Setting the table beautifully.

Writing long-long letters to my friends.

Listening my friends’ long-long talks.

Putting on make up.

Being trustful.

Helping.

To understand without any talk.

Thinking about human behavior.

Going for a long walk.

Eating out.

Tasting new foods.

Drinking wine.

Smelling flowers.

Sleeping in a freshly washed bed-linen.

Drying our clothes on the sun.

Wearing my favourite dresses.

Wearing my husband’s shirts.

Cuddling.

Catching a sympathetic pair of eyes.

Giving a smile.

Making somebody smile.

Taking a deep breath after stepping out from the plane.

The smell of the air after a summer rain-shower.

The sound of thunder.

The sound of crickets on a hot summer night.

Giving gifts.

Fondling animals.

Watching old pictures of my family.

Listening to old people’s life stories.

Swimming in the sea.

Drawing cartoons.

Cooking something special and being proud what I have done.

Cycling in a warm wind.

Catching sweet moments in everyday life.

Moments that often mean so much more than a simple minute. That makes you think and happy…

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Posted in feelings, Happiness, life, Love, youtube | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Gimme that cigarette

Firstly, I am a non-smoker. Quit long ago. Smoke kills, you know… And unfortunately it is true. But I am still a smoker deep inside, when I’m dreaming. The most normal thing of all when I’m asleep. There are different reasons  why and when people start it. One, who took a breath of smoke from the beggining together with his devil-may-care parents. One who wanted to belong somewhere and had to smoke with the others otherwise he seemed weak in their eyes. One who was curious and just tried it for fun etc… And one who, hmmmm, let me think, it wanted to be me, and I’m looking for the reasons why I started it. Maybe because it was classy for me. I wanted to be classy and sexy. I liked watching old movies and I loved those women who were smoking enchantingly. They always were so elegant, a bit mysterious, a little bit nasty, out of rules. Look at those chicks. Just let’s have a look. Seriously. Aren’t they sexy ?

Yes, they are. Or aren’t they ?

Well, in my case it was Hollywood’s fault that I started to smoke. What a brainless reason but that is that, the truth hurts sometimes as we know. And who cares about the damaging side of smoking when someone is a teenager and wants to be sexy in her miniskirt and spice it up with a stylish ciggy. Subidubidoo…

I liked that ceremony when you light one up. The first puff……ahhh, strong pure pleasure. But I wasn’t a chain-smoker ! I respected it more than do it all the time. I enjoyed every single of them. Once I lit one I immediately felt sorry because it burned out so quickly. Later I liked smoking just alone with my thoughts, real slow, singly, that was the best. I became a lonely smoker. Hated when somebody came next to me and started to talk. He draw my attention away from my short-life joyment. I became pretty angry inside but of course kept on smiling. I did it in secret many times. Things you do in secret feel always so much better than ordinary situations, don’t they ?!

Like a lover, a secret lover who makes you feel dizzy. Makes you dazed, feeling spoilt by joy. Just moving away for a few minutes to have some intimate privacy. No one there to talk with, just me and my cigarette and the fresh air. Felt even better at night in the tender silence with the infinity of blackness above me and wondering about how little we are…

Smoking was a great delight but I’m happy I quit. More than happy, maybe proud and will never smoke again. Saying it now, but who knows what will happen when I’m hopefully over 60 and decide to smoke again because then it won’t matter…

A smoking Granny. Who got mad and became a nun just to live for God and her sweet cigarette… Sounds awful. Smells awful. Looks awful. Effects awful. What a stupid subject to write about ! I got bored of it. Good bye cigarette ! See you in dreamland. Let’s turn a page. Will be shown up soon…

Posted in Addiction, Cigarette, Hollywood, Memories, Smoking | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Feelings

24.05.2010 Oxford, HOT sunny day, happiness and joy in my heart, flying on the street in a smooth warm wind to pay for our telephone bill . Singing a lovely song inside on my way and hardly can control myself to not to dance 🙂

Superb weather, matching songs, dazed mood. Just perfect ! I’m thinking about sweet memories. The hot air, the flaming sun, the smell of the sunlit flowers and the dusty roads. I’m falling into my childhood. We are in the ’90. Hot summer day somewhere in Hungary in a little village. It’s near to noon but I’ve just woken up. The room is almost dark. The sun fiercely gleaming through the partially-closed slats. Some brighting dustmotes are in the sunrays.

My father always let the rolling shutter down because of the swelter. ‘Don’t open the window ! Never pull the blinds up otherwise we’re gonna drown in the torridity !’ My father is very good at keeping everything on the optimal level, if it is the room temperature then he is great at that… Anyway. So I am waking up and the first thing I hear is a song that comes through the closed windows from the street. From one of the neighboring houses. From Gyuri. Gyuri is my brother’s friend who lives almost next door. György Dohányos alias George Smoker. It’s his real name, not kidding, and his father is called the same. And he is a real chain-smoker indeed. And by the way the younger Gyuri’s going to be a cigarette eater too. But I don’t want to get so far in the future, let’s stay here and let me talk about what I wanted originally. 🙄

Well. The point is the song ! The one I came across with today here in Oxford, that made me so excited and made my body burning inside because of the vivid feeling. I got the freedom back that only a child can feel. When you don’t have any problems waiting for you to get solved. Nothing. Just wake up and live. Problemlessly, without worries, without any responsibilities. It is the middle of the holiday-time at school, in the middle of a beautiful hot summer. And there is a song in the air played over and over again. Gyuri’s song 🙂 By UB40 the ‘Kingston town’. Played endlessly 🙂

2010, UK, in Oxford, having a bright-happy-sunny day with the UB40. Singing and feeling pretty good ! Gyuri is still in that village, just has left his family, two children behind for a new promising love. I heard that he is happy finally, found his one. Bless him ! I am 32 by now, living far-far away from my homeland with my ONE and starting to write a blog or whatever, I don’t really know for what purpose. I’ve just started it but I have to stop already. Got to go. Will continue… 🙂

Posted in Memories, music, UB40 | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments